Zell battles Doctor Who and the Daleks

Zell battles Doctor Who and the Daleks

Where our hero with the assistance of Spike out of the Quireboys and his little brother join forces with Doctor Who to battle the Daleks. Well, sort of… Anyway, let Zell explain.


TIME TRAVEL. It’s always fascinated me. Where would I go? What would I change? Who would I want to meet? Which, is what is so much fun about creating BathroomWall’s ‘Bathsheba’ comic strip – she can meet any rock star, dead or alive, in their prime! And, without any effort, Bat’ just lounges at her shop counter an’ lets all these famous fuckers come to her, via the ‘revolving doors of time’. Not sure of the science behind it, but, sometimes ‘fun’ is cooler than ‘logic’. Like Doctor Who.

Damn, but I’m so old I actually distinctly remember watching the first ever episode of Doctor Who. 1963 with William Hartnell as the irascible Doc! Also, I remember what I was eating – a cheese sandwich!! (of course you were, either that or a pork pie. Ed.) Yet, I’d hardly call myself a Doctor Who fan as such. But definitely a fan of the Daleks! That’s all I watched Doctor Who for – to see if those time travelling, universe conquering, homicidal tanks were the villain of the piece.

Dalek Suit

In fact, in the ‘60s, I even got a Dalek costume for Christmas! It was, essentially, a cheap plastic headpiece and cardboard ‘grill’ to see through, and a red ’skirt’ emblazoned with white circles with two holes cut out to poke the raygun and plunger through. Inside, it smelt like toxic rubber! But, y’know what – wearin’ that Dalek outfit gave me my first real feeling of power; I have a vivid memory of my little brother absolutely cowering in fear in a corner as I came at him screaming, ‘EX-TER-MIN-ATE!’.

60s dalek suite

*Not actually Ray – but you get the idea

Blonde Secrets & Dark Bombshells

The nearest I probably ever came to being perceived as a possible ‘traveller in time’, was when I was out some years back with my partner in time, erm, I mean ‘crime’, Spike of the Quireboys. We were, you might be shocked to discover, in a pub, talkin’ ‘bout this an’ that. In fact, I barely recall a conversation with Spike, where he never jokingly brought up the story of, how he used to be on his way home from a building site (or some such job) and all he passed, plastered on walls, were endless posters advertising the Marionette album ‘Blonde Secrets & Dark Bombshells’.

Marionette band featuring Ray Zell

The glam trash punk n’ roll titans, Marionette

Posters of which, of course, featured ME dead centre. HA! In his work clothes, covered in crap, Spike said he used to scowl at that ‘Ray Zell fucker’. But, I digress…

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Excuse Me, Sir, What Year Is It?

…at one point during our pub conversation, neither of us could remember what the current year was! I’m serious. So, we politely called across to a bloke in a suit at the table opposite. “Excuse me, mate, what year is it?”. The businessman smiles obligingly, casually pulls his sleeve back to look at his watch, and is about to utter the time, when, what we actually asked, seems to become manifest. He looks back across at us, baffled. “No, the year,” we reiterate. With eyes wide, he pauses, before revealing the info. We thank him, then go back to our conversation, possibly not about quantum physics. I wager, that geezer in the suit was never asked that again*. Well, at least, not by anyone not wearing an extra long knitted scarf an’ carryin’ a sonic screwdriver…


Dr Who T-shirts

(*However we are considerably more confident that Spike and other sundry Quireboys have been asked on more than one occasion what year they think it is as they merrily channel The Faces circa 1974 – Ed)

Youtube Bonus – Dr Who pilot episode clip

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